apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
