But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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