For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
