we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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