At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
