Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
