It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
