Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
