Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
