So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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