If i come over, it means nothing
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
