Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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