oh god the rape fog is back!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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