I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
