Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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