Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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