i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
