I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize