Joe is yelling at the trees again.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
tell me about the eggs
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
