wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
