Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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