Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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