yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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