don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
