I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
