I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
