No, drunk sperm still make babies.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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