too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
