Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
