Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
