shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
