i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I am one with the molecules
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
