Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
