Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize