we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
