Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize