apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
