dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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