He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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