Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
