I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
