and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Congratulations! We have a period
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
