I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize