I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize