They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
