this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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