so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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