thus making me awesome and them whores
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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