I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
