peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize