I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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