bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
