It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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