I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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