so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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