You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
