Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
