the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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