it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
