real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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